Things and rules women wished men knew

I have read many humour blogs about things and rules that men wished their girlfriends and wives knew and so in response, I’ve decided to write one from women’s perspective.

Disclaimer: These are not necessarily all about or have something to do with my husband. These are a collection of thoughts and opinions based on my previous and present relationship experience with men, and from my daily conversation with my girl friends about their relationships with their partners.

• It doesn’t take to be a fortune-teller to know if we are mad or what we are mad about. It’s your duty to always pay attention.

• If we are nagging, that means we still care.

• If you’re going to compare us to other women, always make sure we are the better ones.

• Shopping makes us happy. Live with it.

• Don’t make new mistakes if you are tired of hearing us replaying (over and over) your past ones.

• We forgive but never ever forget. Ever.

• Even if we say we hate surprises, flowers and gifts, we still find it sweet receiving them.

• If we ask for your opinion, we often don’t need your opinion. We just wanna hear we’re right.

• Everything you do in the past is stored in our photographic memory and is admissible in the future arguments.

• We don’t like big guys who still watch NARUTO and BLEACH, and whatever childish anime.

• Don’t forget to open the car door or any doors for us. You used to do that on the early stage of the relationship.

• It’s a must to say something sweet like “I love you” after sex.

• Just ask for directions, it will save a lot of time and gasoline.

• Brush your teeth before you kiss.

• A woman yelling at a guy is normal, but it’s unacceptable if it’s the other way around.

• Just say sorry even if it’s not your fault. And if you do, mean it.

• Do not forget the important dates and anniversaries.

• Do not leave pee drops/ traces on the toilet seat.

• House chores are not exclusively for women.

• If we effort to cook something, you should effort to eat well no matter how bad it tastes.

• Put your dirty clothes in the laundry basket properly.

• We are not cool with you having crushes on other women even if we pretend we are.

• Do not complain if we drive too slow. That’s what we call driving safely.

• You’re procrastinating too much.

• Bags and clothes are essential parts of our well-being.

• Money is very important on keeping us act sane.

Scientific Mathematics

It just doesn’t make sense that I excel at Science but suck at Math (big time) when a lot of the same thought processes are involved at both. I’ve actually always wondered why I find Physics a lot easier than Algebra. Tell me, how can someone know when Math ends and Science begins, or vice versa?

I read somewhere that the difference and relationship of Science and Math is as follows:

“Math is used to analyze the results of scientific experiments and to formulate theories in quantitative terms. Science is used to determine the flaws in mathematical representations of the real world, thus motivating the development of new kinds of math.”

Now, that didn’t help my already confused brain (if I do have one) at all.

Life is so complicated… everything is connected yet seems totally different. I wish I had a magic eight-ball to figure them out all.

Mood: Confused and Drained @-@

20 things why I dislike PH (video)

I have just read the article about DOT (Philippines Department of Tourism) slamming the expat who made and starred in the video entitled, “20 things why I dislike the Philippines”.

When I first saw the video, I knew the guy would be in a big trouble. Knowing us, Filipinos, we could be really overly sensitive when someone, especially from another race, criticizes us or our country—constructive or not. It’s probably our defense mechanism, pride and or self-denial. It is always hard to accept the truth and, no matter how cliché it may sound, truth hurts. That was also the reason I deleted the link of the video that I re-posted on my FB account. I chickened out realising that my comment, which sounded like bashing my country and supporting something that makes up a bad reputation for the Philippines, could get me into trouble. Filipino netizens are constantly watching and they’re ready to bash or bully in some instances those who trash talk or put down the  plummeting country and it’s already suffering people. I mean, I didn’t wanna get bashed or bullied for shouting out the already known truth.

ONLY IN THE PHILIPPINES

dangerous tangled power lines

playing in dirty water

However, it kinda surprised me when I learnt that I am sharing the same views with 98% of the Filipino commentators on the said article. It’s probably because most of us are already tired of bullshit and hypocrisy feed to us by our impotent government. That’s right, what should be mad about? The American on the video only speaks the truth, although I know that his country has a lot of shits going on as well.

ONLY IN  THE PHILIPPINES

picture taking with the hijacked bus as background right after the hostage taking on it-- how sensitive!

If we examine carefully, the underlying intention of the video could be good. It shows or reminds us of so many not-to-be-proud-of stuff in our country that we have overlooked, ignored and tolerated in some way as decades pass by. We seem to accept, embrace and live those shits as they are because they are the way they are and we can’t be bothered.

Philippines is surely beautiful in so many ways and  I am proud to be born and raised in this country. It will always be my home. But it is certainly not “more fun in the Philippines” as DOT campaigns, if Filipinos alone, nevermind tourists, can’t walk on footpaths without having to worry of falling off a dangerous open manhole full of rubbish and dengue carrying mosquitoes. How can we go around our own land if our government keeps babysitting the MILF aka modest name for a terrorist group that has abduction for ransom as a hobby.

ONLY IN THE PHILIPPINES

The leader of the Moron Moro Islamic Liberation Front (MILF)

And yes, they are allowed to dress like military. The government is cool with that. What a joke.

Our country has become one big portable toilet; worse than dogs, Filipino men pee everywhere (I said worse than dogs because, at least, my dog pees in the field but I notice it is always in the same place). Most of us cannot obey the simple traffic rules and we call it skilled driving. Authorities take bribes and we bribe them because that’s how it goes– we are afraid of fighting against the flow because, well, it will be a big hassle to do so.

nice warning sign for the stubborn people

20 is actually an understatement; there’s a lot more to it. But I would stop here and let the DOT does their own justice to their slogan “IT’S MORE FUN IN THE PHILIPPINES!”

For the sake of fair and balance blogging, click  here to see the “20 reasons why I love the Philippines!” video.

Size doesn’t matter

It’s always a case of fat people  getting mad on being criticized or judged for their size but, in the end, they end up being more judgmental and harsh to their opposite in an effort to express their feelings or defend their plump body.

They get easily offended when you simply tell them that they’re fat, lazy or not sexy whereas they often insensitively call skinny people names—anorexic, frail, pathetic, zombies etc. and, what’s more infuriating, they often get the praise for “standing up’ with their size, even if it means lambasting people with slim body.

I would say that if you want people to respect your size, you should probably stop bashing other people about theirs. Health and beauty are subjective; what you perceive beautiful and sexy doesn’t necessarily apply to other people’s perceptions and you shouldn’t insist on your perception being the right one.

As someone who comes from a family with slim genes, I often had to defend myself for being thin at some points of my life. I had been accused of drug-using, abortion, anorexic you name it, just because I was constantly thin. But now that I have given birth and getting old, of course, my metabolism has slowed down and I’ve already got some fats here and there, and people seem pleased seeing me with bigger body than I always had. But whenever they see me lose some pounds again, they’d give “uncool” unsolicited comments like; you look better when you’re fat, you look sick or, worst, you’re ugly when you’re thin. My silent opinion on this approach is that those people are just probably jealous of me because I could lose weight easily if I want to.

Actually, it really doesn’t matter if you are fat, thin or in-between; the variety of human forms and sizes are beautiful depending on how you look and carry it. If you feel that being fat is sexy, then by all means… the floor is yours, but please don’t antagonize me for feeling sexy and happy with my thin body. Respect begets respect. It makes me happy wearing slim pants and small size outfits, and you can keep your spiteful judgments to yourself.

Also, if I may add, so much for the unfair criticism and trash-talking about Angelina Jolie’s slim body on her appearance at the Oscars 2012. Give the woman a break! She looked happy with her size and it seemed that she didn’t give a crap on what people perceived about her body as she ramped and posed before the cameras and audience confidently, and that was all that mattered. So sad, the world has totally become a one-sided fat-opinionated place, you see, there were many oversized people at the event and they weren’t criticized like her. Unfair!

You can criticise her all you want, but you can never be Angelina Jolie. Just G. O. R. G. E. O. U. S.

Kaizen

There’s always a better way. This is the gist on my boss’ (at my online job) email that I received yesterday. With work and life in general, there is always a room for doing things in a much better way, and we should always question everything that we do every single day in pursuit of perfection. In Japanese, this approach is called “kaizen” which means continuous improvement or change for the better with the thinking of “nothing is ever perfected”.

The translation of kai is “change” and zen is “good” which technically means improvement if we put them together. This idea is created in Japan following the World War 2 to reconstruct the country’s economy, and it became famous by the book of Masaaki Imai, “Kaizen: The Key to Japan’s Competitive Success”.

This system is mostly applied to business where every employee—from top management to the cleaning staff is encouraged to come up with small improvement suggestions on regular basis. Things like productivity, safety and effectiveness are improved incessantly, often, in little ways. By doing this, you can also see the gaps that need to be filled up and improved at work.

As this concept is applicable not only in business/ work but in every aspect of a person’s life, I think this is also good for self-reflection. Like me, I know many of you experience getting burnt out doing the same old stuff everyday. If you are working, you might find yourself walking in circle—wake up early in the morning, go to work where you do the same thing every goddamn day, go back home, (if you’re lucky) spend little time with your family, sleep and repeat the process. If you are a stay-home mom, it also the same, your life is also a routine, only, you have the advantage to spend more time with your kids and husband.

I suppose we all hate routine, it often makes us crawl back to our shells. It causes us to be lazy and feel the never-ending dissatisfaction. Many people would say that it is just a matter of mindset; like, if we see more of the positive sides of it and accept things we cannot change, we will be happy. Well, being always positive helps but I think instead of making ourselves believe that everything will be alright and our lives will be better by just thinking positive, appreciating what we have and settling for less is not right. We still need to find ways to progress and do something to fill the gaps in our personal life or career. It doesn’t have to be a major change, but little by little we can improve things that we are not happy about.

We must always implement a better way to make decisions in our family or career, or find a better way to balance family life, work and other commitments—thanks to my boss for these wonderful and inspirational words on the latter part of his email.

How long is patience a realistic virtue?

There’s nothing like ending a day without losing your patience with someone and or something. Unfortunately, being patient is one of my Achilles’ heels. I’m not talking about waiting for someone or something to come or happen because, ripened by time and experiences, I think I have developed quite enough tolerance with that. It’s dealing with stupid, annoying, rude, insensitive and appalling people—especially those who act like it’s their prerogative to be ignorant and or not to use their common sense—and situations that I have terrible difficulties to cope with. Like money in my bank account, my patience is there for a moment but fades fast the moment I see the need to use it.

According to Wikepedia: Patience (or forbearing) is the state of endurance under difficult circumstances, which can mean persevering in the face of delay or provocation without acting on annoyance/anger in a negative way; or exhibiting forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties. Patience is the level of endurance one can take before negativity. It is also used to refer to the character trait of being steadfast.

But how can I not be impatient with all the douchebags and buggers around?  It’s not that I’m a person of no flaw; like everyone else, I have my moods and bad sides too. And I’m sure I have pissed off quite a number of people as well. Everyone has enemies and if you don’t, you must be a really really insignificant person to everyone. But I can safely say that I get enemies not from being a cunt or obnoxious.

My mentor (a.k.a my boss) always reminds me that life is a reciprocate process; like, if you show goodness to others, you’ll get the same in return. That no matter how rude or bad a person is, they’ll be nice to you if you are always nice to them. That no matter how stupid someone is, they’ll eventually change and learn in time as long as you show your appreciation of their existence and on what they do. I swear I have tried my best to adapt and apply this wisdom, but I am more often unsuccessful than successful. There are just people that no matter how sincerely pleasant you treat them; they still choose to be hideous and infuriating and treat you bad instead. And no matter how you respect their beliefs and feelings, they are too bold to show that they don’t respect yours. And no matter how you understand that humans have different level of understanding, their continuous stupidity and insensitivity start to get on your nerves.

I do my utmost effort to be a person with extraordinary patience and be nice even to the nastiest people I encounter, but I just have low tolerance for stupidity and ignorance. When I’m mad, I often resort to posting negative comments on my twitter and facebook referring to anonymous someone that I hate, and delete them once I feel a little bit better. I shouldn’t really do that because, as they say, if you speak ill of others, you are only speaking for yourself, or it’s a dishonest way of praising yourself. But I suppose it’s better than punching the person I hate, or keep it all inside me and suddenly explode one day. Patience is indeed a virtue, but to what extent?

“If you must speak ill of another, do not speak it, write it in the sand near the water’s edge.” — Napoleon Hill.

Cos baby GOODBYE is sad

Everyone has the right to be dramatic once in a while, so permit me to…

I’ve felt weird since I told my boss that I am resigning. I don’t know if I’m just anxious about what my future holds for me after playing safe for three years on my career. I just suddenly feel terribly down in the dumps about leaving my job despite the fact that there is more promising one waiting for me and, at the same time, I will finally be reunited with my family– which is everything I have wished for a long time.

I suppose it’s the friends I have made here; my ever compassionate and kindhearted boss, my generous and humble big bosses, my cheerful and helpful operation colleagues, my nice and very accepting office colleagues, and my wonderful clients. No adjective can describe how thankful and blessed I am to have met and known these people.

It’s hard to say goodbye. Singapore has been my second home for three years and Evershine has been a fantastic host to me. In this company, I have been treated as family no matter I am the newest and the only (Filipino) expatriate among them— bosses managers, executives and office staff are all Singaporeans and are working for many years here. The management have treated me the same way as they treat everyone else and my colleagues have welcomed and accepted me so warm. I’m just so glad that with thousands of companies in this country, my destiny has taken me here.

As Celine Dion puts it in her song; goodbye is the saddest word. But I know that, no matter how cliché it may sound, it is also a start of a new beginning. There just comes a time in one’s life that he/she has to let go and move on. In my case, I feel that this is the time. In the midst of all my fears and worries about uncertainties, my mind and heart say, I should go for it, this is what I want, this is what will make me happy, and this is the right time to start designing the life I want to live as best as I can.

The sleep deprived whiner

It’s funny that when I was younger, I would do everything to have exhausting days and sleepless nights.

I’d do anything under the clouds like go “scooter” joyride and roller skate with my friends, go out of town and engage myself into adventures, stand by somewhere and do baloney and crazy stuff to kill my time, and sneak out of our house (because my brother would often guard us, his little siblings, to stop us from going out late) at night to go disco dancing and drinking.

Nowadays all I wish for is to have a decent rest and sleep! I feel like I’m caught up in a rat race, and I’m really tiiiiiiired! Whiner, anyone?!!!

*****

“No rest for the weary”

Caught in a reverie

It’s too bad that my chance of studying MA in Australia is almost impossible now. My hubby doesn’t want to move to another country again because he thinks it’s a bit too late for us to start from the scratch once more. Besides, he often gets sick when he’s away from home and he’s afraid that he’ll just be incapable if we go to OZ and he gets sick.

With that, I am thinking of going back home for good mid this year and study in my country instead. I’ve been wanting to enroll in a graduate program but I didn’t have enough time and was financially insufficient. My husband and I were paying mortgage and financing my nephew to his college studies, more so, we are parents to a high- maintenance smart and beautiful baby girl so it’s really difficult to put in school fees to our bills. I also do not have enough time to go to school because I do other part-time jobs online apart from my full- time day work. But now that my nephew has chosen to get married early instead of finishing his studies, I have all the chance in the world to slow down working and go back to school.

My choice of school? UP Diliman. I just hope I’ll pass the entrance exam this time around. Who wouldn’t want to be called as “Iskolar Ng Bayan”? I certainly do.

That nude oblation

Insert —> Defensive explanation

Roughly 10 years ago, I thought it was gonna be easy for me to get into UP. Armed with only my “bahala-na” (whatever happens) attitude and together with thousands of fellow hopefuls from Quezon province, I excitedly took UPCAT (University of the Philippines College Admission Test) at a school in Lucena City. Like everyone else in our class, I was inexperienced; that was the first time I had ever taken a college admission exam. I didn’t have any preparation; I thought it was going to be easy. While my classmates were agitated buying reviewers and studying things that might come up on the exam, I was slouching and just thought of relying my answers to the tests on what I had learnt from high school, and my knowledge in general (typical me). Unfortunately, I wasn’t really that special academic whiz kid so it didn’t work for me. No one actually passed in our batch, not even the class valedictorian.

It was a disappointing moment when I got my result; it said something like, “We regret to inform you that you didn’t pass the blah blah blah. However, you can still study in UP Diliman once you complete 33 units (If I recall it correctly) of your course at other tertiary institution and maintain the general average of 2.0 or higher.” (These were not the exact words on the result paper, but it was something to this effect.)

Many told me that I probably didn’t make it to UP because the course I had chosen was a quota course—AB Mass Communication, and that the slots were limited. Well, that was a good excuse. I guess they were just too many young minds like me who wanted to be media practitioners. At least, they gave me a chance to enter UP with some condition apply, while others that I knew received complete rejections with no chance at all.

They said I should have chosen a second course option, one that only few people choose, then just shift later. I didn’t choose any as I was stubbornly inloved with MassComm (I regret it now) and the said course is only offered in Diliman—besides other campuses outside Luzon. I’ve read from some articles that the passing score for other campuses is lower than Diliman. Like, for example, you need to get an average of 2.2 in Diliman while in Los Banos, you only need to get 2.7.

And so I ended up studying in UE Manila. I didn’t necessarily like the school, but my initial concern was its lower tuition fee than other private universities that are members of UAAP (yes, UAAP matters) in Manila. And luckily, I got a “free tuition” scholarship because I got a high- score on my entrance exam.

I did maintain my average to 2.0 (it was also a condition to my scholarship) on the first semester but I had no time and resource to transfer to UP. I was working almost full time while studying and maintaining my scholarship and, because of that, I was always exhausted. And so you could only imagine why transferring to the no. 1 school in the Philippines didn’t matter to me anymore.

-End of defensive explanation-

I’m thinking of taking MBA in UP but when I had a look at their website, it sounded like the course includes many MATH subjects. I hate numbers, I suck at it. I don’t know if I’m having cold feet and or afraid of getting rejected by the same school again, but 20 minutes before I wrote this blog, I was having second thoughts on trying in UP.

Furthermore, I have suddenly figured out that I don’t really want to pursue a marketing or business course—even if it’s my current profession and that’s where the money is. What I really want to study is English and Literature, and Ateneo De Manila University offers a good MA course for such. Only, the school fees at the latter are waaaaay higher than the former and other universities in the Phils., and I am not sure if I could ever afford it.

Well, sadly, education today, like most things in the world, has become a question about money. But I’ll keep on dreaming, it’s one of the very few things that are free nowadays.

“Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.”-- Edgar Allan Poe

AJ on Golden Globe 2012

I blame myself for spending too much time on Facebook. I missed watching the Golden Globe 2012 and my rare chance to be a fashion police of Hollywood’s A- lister celebrities. Although my opinions would not matter to the fashion club and to the rest of the world, at least, I get to experience to be a Carson Kressley or Mary Alice Stephenson in my own world. Yes, being a fashion stylist & expert is one of the things on my looooong list of what-I-dream-to-be. My brother always bashes me, he says, I dream tonnes and plan to do many things that’s why I end up not starting a single thing. Oh well, I’m a dreamer!

Anyway, thank you to whoever invented the internet, World Wide Web and Google; I was able to see the fashion champs (and the victims for that matter) on that night. As I’ve said, my opinions wouldn’t matter, and I’m sure no one is interested, so I won’t post my top picks here like every fashion blogger does. As my title suggests, this will be about Angelina Jolie, the celebrity who never fails to blow me away. I am a hetero woman on every bit of my sexuality but if there’s one and only reason I would have the tendency to be bisexual, it’s if Angelina Jolie asks me to sleep with her. Dream on.

To those who missed the above-mentioned award night like me and to those who can’t just get enough of AJ, here are the stunning photos of her. Sorry Jennifer Aniston’s fans, your girl is pretty… cute, but AJ is just gorgeous, beautiful and timeless. If you disagree, ask Brad Pitt.

AJ in Atelier Versace gown. I don't necessarily like the colour combination but she knocked it nevertheless. Admit it, she could wear a rice sack and she'd still look good in it.

The superb jawline & chin, the sexy lips and the tantalizing eyes! Now tell me if God is fair.

When the universe showered good looks, she was at the right time and place. Timeless beauty, indeed.

Perfect couple except for....what was that Brad... cane?